Grasshopper over Ant

While some of you single-minded folks thinks the title alludes to some compromised new position or a weird miniscule animal fetish
, the title simply refers to the age-old fable of the grasshopper and the ant. I'm here to declare that I'd choose the grasshopper over the ant any day of the week, and twice on weekdays.

The ant tires all day with those toned muscles to get the job done
The ant constantly strains its brain thinking of ways to overcome the many obstacles it often faces.
The ant never gets to socialize though there are countless ants around it;
It probably has no idea what social media is.
By the time it gets home, it's too worn out to turn on the TV and find out about Kardashian's latest update or listen to XXL's new enlightening loop "if I was cow dung"

On the other hand,

With such a slim figure, the grasshopper does not need to have a job.
The grasshopper's brain is never troubled; it forgets annoying things, all things for that matter.
The grasshopper lives vicariously through Facebook connecting with virtually virtual friends.
With the remote in hand, the grasshopper knows Lohan's every wardrobe malfunction, and does not miss a hit by the carnivorous plant-wearing Madame Kaka - last one being "red meat rhymes with feet" 

It's a no-brainer, the grasshopper has the long end of the stick, and it's in his mouth.

Now, if you'll excuse me while I go

Find a spacious cardboard box
Steal a meal
Patch my clothes 
& Bum a cigarette